we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
