You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
