Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize