why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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