Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
