How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
