I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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