we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
