You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
