have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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