the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
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