there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
