I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
