I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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