Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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