Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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