im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
