He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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