on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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