yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
