i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
