My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
