What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
