But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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