I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
