Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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