It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
