Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
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The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
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If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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