tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
