His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He passed out mid-signature
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
