I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
