I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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