plz talk dirty to me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
