I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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