I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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