the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
