Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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