I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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