at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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