Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The adults are the big ones right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
