Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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