Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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