it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
