I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
