This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
