Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
