i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
