Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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