doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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