Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
