I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
