Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just google imaged poop.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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