the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This baby is an asshole
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
