so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
