he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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