i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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