Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize