If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
