Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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