i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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