Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
